There is a God and HE is EVERYWHERE but sometimes he uses people to get his work done!

No matter what your political views are in this day and age, No one can dispute that we are fighting awar in Iraq where lives are being lost. Wars are violent, they are horrific,and I wish they could end. I don't believe that will happen though until the Prince of Peace comes again. One thing I know is that the soldiers in the battle believe in their cause so much that they are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the principles they are fighting for in a country where for centuries all they have known is tyranny.
I have young relatives who are going over to be a part of the mission in Iraq and the one thing that I cling to is they believe in their mission and they go with God's protection and love.

It is my belief that we live in a war zone everyday between spiritual good and evil, the thing that makes this battle much less burdensome is our Commander has slready assured us victory we just have to "fight the good fight"until we're called home to our reward in Heaven.

It's much easier to fight when you have support and never ending love of those around you..I encourage all who read this post and the following vignette to pray for and in some way encourage a service person serving overseas today!

Thank you

A United States Marine was attending some college courses betweenassignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One ofthe courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of theACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked tothe ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you toknock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." Thelecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went byand the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his Chair,went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform.
The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The
professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked,
"What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers
who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

When it's a time in life you need your "somebody" friend

I have been praying strange things lately. I haven't shared the context of these private times with myself and God because I don't think even those who are the closest to me would understand. In my recent battle with cancer I learned how precious time with those you love is, and how so often we take that for granted. The stage of thyroid cancer I had was quite progressed and had it not been found when it was I may not have the priveledge of sharing these thoughts today. Friends who have always been in my life truly closed ranks around me and expressed that my presence in their life meant something and I was so blessed by this.
I have not officially been declared cancer free and there are some indications to me that some symptoms may be returning. This fear is the biggest that has lingered in my heart and brain since the end of my initial treatment.
The prospect of the cancer returning is even more scary because in a moment of emotional diarhea I confided something to a friend of mine who has been a rock to me, during numerous times when my life has been upside down.
I just wish he would trust and realize that ultimately I want happiness for him in life, I'm not asking for a life long commitment of never ending romance..just a friend to be a "somebody" when I need a friend who knows me and doesn't try to fix or change me.

As these thoughts raced through my brain...a song came on my ipod that I wish I could share with this friend

Artist: Keith Urban Album: Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing Year: 2006
Title: Everybody

So here you are now,
nowhere to turn
It’s just the same old yesterday
You made a promise to yourself That you were never gonna be this way
And the only thing that you’ve ever known is to run So you keep on drivin’ faster into the sun(Chorus)
But everybody needs somebody sometimes Yeah everybody needs somebody sometimes
You don’t have to find your own way out You’ve got a voice let it be heard
Just when it feels you’re on a dead-end road There’s always somewhere left to turn
So don’t give up now you’re so close to a brand new day Yes you are
And if you just can’t bare to be alone then I’ll stay

(Chorus)‘Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah everybody needs somebody sometimes

Well maybe I’ve been too caught upTo see what you’ve been goin’ throughAll that I can say is I’m here now

(Chorus) And everybody needs somebody sometimes You know they do Everybody needs somebody sometimes Everybody needs somebody sometimes Everybody needs somebody sometimes Everybody needs somebody sometimes

Today..was an "off day"

I am frustrated!! Things have been looking up for me lately. I have been feeling much more energizedand since I have been put on thyroid medicine I have resumed activities that were given up for upwards of 10 months like working out twice a week. Working out is a great outlet for me because I make every time a competition with myself to maintain or better my personal performance than the time before.

When I was able to do a lot last week I felt victorious like I was saying to the past year of my life "You can knock me down and challenge me, BUT you certainly didn't knock me out!"
The past few days have been different though..I have noticed the area of neck where the Cancer was the worst is swelling slightly, I don't have the complete energy I have had the past few weeks. Today for the first time in months I slept five hours of the day a way in a sound sleep when I am ususlly out and about!

This may be as sismple as increasing my dose of medication when I go see my doctor next month, but honestly I am fighting the monsterous "What if.." thoughts in my head.
I know those are the devil and no matter what God is working. Knowing that is comforting but I find myself asking if the rollercoaster I've been on lately might turn into a Straight-away for awhile.

Lastly,

I wanted to post here what an "off day" looks like for me in a workout and maybe when I look back I'll see it wasn't so off..

On Weight machine all of these are 3 sets of 10

Rowing 20 pounds

Lat pull
Left 15 pounds
Right 12.5 pounds

Rickshaw (works triceps)
Right 23.75 Pounds
Left 20 Pounds

Deltoid
Left 6.75 pounds

Pedaling the leg bike stats
I went approx. 1 mile in 26 min.

Last week I did the same distance in 14 min.

Learn about Me fun!!

I realized the other day when reading over this blog that compared to some of my friends lighthearted blogs...this one is heavy and not always joyful. Although at the least (if anyone reads it I hope it is thought provoking.)
So this is my attempt to be not so drama laiden and show the fun humorous side of me. The side I think a lot of my friends really like!!
I often get "Getting to Me" surveys from my friends over e-mail and I thought I might post one here with my creative answers for fun-- ENJOY, your peek into my brain :-)

Getting to know me

1. FIRST NAME? ? Kelly

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Last night My Ipod played Keith Urban "Tonight I wanna Cry" and everytime I here that darn song...the floodgates... Wow I have a strong power of suggestion going

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Not the Cursive all the time, but my print is Da' Bomb
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Hard Salami
6. KIDS? I used to say YES but I am waivering these days..it depwnds who I marry

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF? Yes

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Sort of

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Meee????.. Noooo....Never!!

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yes, but No thyroid gland (in case that was your next question!
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No..my everyday life is an adventure

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Corn Pops
13. YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? no, Velcro or crocs rock
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? You wouldn't wanna meet me in a dark alley!
15. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cookies N'Cream or Phish Food

16. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Are they clean, Do they smile and laugh

17. RED OR PINK? pink

18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? The fact that friends come to me for help

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Everyone I used to live a roll away from in Columbia MO
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? yes

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW? Jeans and Pink and white Tennys

22. THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Plain mini bagel

>> >23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My ipod- (More specifically New Edition, Still In Love With You)

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Pink

25. FAVORITE SMELL? (ok I'm a dork) The lobby of the hospital where I work, it doesn't smell like a hospital. when I breathe in the air there I know no matter how I feel or what challenges I may run into those kids need what I bring!

26 WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Becky (my roommate)

27. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? yes, of course (and I miss both of them)

28. FAVORITE DRINK? Diet Mt. Dew, Malibu and Diet Coke, Bud Select
29. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Cardinal Baseball. Mizzou Basketball
30. HAIR COLOR? Light brown blond highlights
31. EYE COLOR? blue-green
32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No
33. FAVORITE FOOD? Mexican

34 . SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? happy endings
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Notebook(I am a sucker for a love story)
.>> >36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? pink and white horizontal stripes (I am trying to look fatter)
37. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer most definitely
38. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs
39. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate
40. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ????
41. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ???
42. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? The Fourth Summer of the sisterhood of the traveling pants

And The ADA Accessibility Guidelines

43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? DELL

44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Larry The Cable Guy Comedy special

45 FAVORITE SOUNDS? At this point.. the Sound of Pomp and Circumstance
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Canada
48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? many
49. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? February 9
50. WHERE WERE YOU BORN St. Louis MO

Do you have a list of things you want to do before you die?

About a week ago I was talking with a friend of mine and I mentioned some activity and they became really excited and said, "attending that event is on my life list of things to do!" Now I don't categorically dismiss the gravity of prioritizing things one would like to do accomplish in their lifetime. Oprah and Ellen have both talked extensively about how thes "lists" can enrich ome's life.
My first thought when my friend mentioned it though was the movie "A Walk To Remember" Mandy Moore's character who is terminally ill has made a list of things she wants to do before she dies and her love interest Shane West's character goes about their relationship fulfilling as many of these items as humanly possible..this is the best function of a list like this, I'll get back to why in a minute (in my opinion)
After the aforementioned conversation ended I began to try and think what might be on my list if I ever decided to make one. What I came up did not seem LIFE LIST worthy for example i came up with

* Finish my Masters degree
* Get a full time job with benefits
*Get a support dog (The dog may substitute the husband at the rate I'm going)

*Marry a Christian man
* Live in an accessible place
* Attempt to learn to drive
DREAM
*See the STL Cardinals play a game in every Major League Ballpark

I really kept thinking about this issue for a long time afterwards and I think the reason it is hard for me to think BIG out side of the last one for the list is that I don't want lavish things for myself in this world. I have been shown since the very day I was born that the LIST of experiences and opportunities God has for me are so much better than any list I could write. I'm not by any means saying we should not have goals or aspirations, but I am constantly relearning that when I start setting plans in stone, God usually turns the stone back into clay and reshapes it for the better.
The other thing I often notice is that when people often write these lists it's all about what they want in their life. Although it is good to keep your spirits up and take care of yourself, the purpose of that I believe is so you can give back to others.
I believe for me a LIST that would be much longer and easier to write is things I want to accomplish or have an impact on that will make a difference in the lives of others!

I don't really know if anyone reads this blog but I challenge you to maybe write a LIST of that kind and see what kind of an impact we can all have!

Feel N' Say

Do you remember those exciting toys for toddlers that they could play with for hours? It was round and had numerous pictures of animals or places and when you pulled the lever on the side a voice would say the name and make an identifying sound, these awesome toys were called See N' Says.
Ironically I have a trait that resembles this in my life and it doesn't always bring smiles and hearty laughter like a toy might. I love to communicate with people (I would even say it is one of my hobbies) This is reflected in my chosen career and the field I have picked to continue pursuing education. As a result of interacting with people and striving to learn and improve the world one person at a time I can't help but having feelings that I often keep to myself.
Eventually I come to the realization that good, bad or indifferent because of the person I am I need to share with one of about 4 people in my inner circle of closest friends.
So similar to a child who wants to show someone what their favorite animal sounds like, I decide who would be the best confidant to share with, I point the arrow there, pull the lever of my feelings and let them go with honesty.
I really wish I didn't have a Feel N' Say approach to times when things are weighing me down or stressing me out.

OH FOR THE SIMPLER DAYS WHEN MOST OF MY HAPPINESS WAS WRAPPED UP IN MATCHBOX CARS AND SEE N' SAYS

I guess that's why I work with kids...just fun...no assumptions