So its been a long time since I last blogged a lot has gone since then so I guess I'll update you first. Near the middle of July I spent a week at Camp independence I have lots of fun with all of my campers. We learned that we can all play sports, even if we do it in different ways.
The next week I was back to good old doctor's appointments first I went to see my hematologist. Lately I've been really worried for the cancer was coming back. Lo' and behold after doing some blood work some of my exhaustion is probably because I'm severely anemic. Now I'm literally pumping iron into my body three times a day and hoping the numbers are coming up. Due to his thorough nature, this doctor listened to me when I told him the concern I felt as though my neck has been swelling over the past couple months. He immediately ordered a CT scan for the next day and said he would check it out. Next it was off to the endocrinologist and he assured me he was positive, the cancer was not coming back, and there was no trace of it left behind. YIPEEEE!!
I got a call a week later, the results were in... my thought. "Why are they calling?" Kelly, the doctor wants to talk to you, "oh crap he never wants to talk to anybody"
Dr. "Hey Kel they think they see something on your CT. So can you go back to the ENT and have them check it out?"
So I went back... he was glad to see me and that everything had turned out okay. He looked around for awhile and said there's nothing that I'm concerned about. However, what's this other bump on your neck?
We wound up doing a needle biopsy on the bump that day as soon as he drained it it went away, and so now I'm waiting for the results of that. Now that everyone's up to speed, lets get to the real reason I wanted to write a blog today.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This may be hard for some of you who know me really well to believe, but many times, I don't know where I fit in this world. I have causes I believe in and things I'm passionate about, that I would do other people thought I should do. Something that falls in this category is my job. Throughout school and sometimes even now I feel like people think.I don't have the complete package of ability to be a full-fledged child life specialist, but I know otherwise. And there are people around me that do agree with me.
It's difficult sometimes when you go to a place and you feel like to so many people you encounter, you are proving yourself to them as a competent, reliable employee and caregiver. What keeps me going, you ask why struggle? It's simple, despite everything. my role in that place, every time is for the children not to boost my ego, but to make their lives a little brighter.
Then there are the days the camp... where I'm surrounded by kids who look up to me, who don't notice my wheelchair as an obstacle to being their helper, they just wanna be my buddy all day long. Then there's the staff that have all helped me through the roughest parts of my life. When I did not advocate, when I wanted to throw in the towel. Now the same people are asking my professional opinion on how to improve the services they provide, asking me to buddy up with some of the more interesting kids because they know I can handle it. Having days like these help me to recharge my tank! Everybody has a day or two maybe a week, when they feel like they can't take anymore. The larger society and the world just doesb't get it, it's beating people with disabilities down so far,they just can't get back up. I have days like these then I hear the screams of the joy as the kids with these similar conditions, skate across the ice making a goal or block a shot, and even dunk a friend in the pool. It's these times, I realize we'll always have to fight we'll always have to advocate that will never end. There are days you have to sit back and thank God for all the blessings, all little things we do have. You may have to search really hard. Some days it may be as small as every breath you take, but it's still something to be grateful for.
I'm so grateful that I have found a home in the disability community that I feel comfortable with and that my passion has become to advocate and make this world society and local communities a better place for all those with disabilities. I never have denied my disability I couldn't even if I wanted to. I always needed pieces of equipment to get around. It could never be hidden. It's funny, though, I realized after attending an ADA event a couple weeks ago, even up to a year ago, I thought others can handle advocacy, and the speaking out stuff because I have enough to worry about. Now my biggest pet peeve is when people with disabilities of any kind complain about their problems and yet they have no type of advocacy effort going on in their lives. Not everybody is going be on the federal level or make a life out of advocating. I realize this, but every voice every letter makes a difference. Some people find disability awareness events intimidating (I could see where that might happen) but I personally have embraced these type of events as a way for me to gain strength. belonging and knowledge that change can happen.
I have a really good friend that is the wonderful advocate locally. Sometimes I just love to listen to his explanations, because I learn so much from him. When I meet people at places like independent living centers or advocacy events and I know that I can come to them any day with a concern or a problem. and they will be there with understanding and the best solution possible..
so even though at times, you may not feel like you belong remember everyone has a purpose for being on this earth. I can clearly see my entire purpose right at the moment, but I am positive in all the above situation. I am being strengthened, blessed and molded into the person I am supposed to be.
