In love with being in LOVE???

I have been told in the past that I was in love with being in love. I find this kind of funny because I have only dated two people in my life. The first was not a nice guy. The second I would say I was truly in love with but afraid of what that meant. Over the years since the romantic tones of the second relationship disappeared I have wondered what if any are my roadblocks in relationships with guys.

When Dr. Phil hosted a show earlier this season about love junkies I decided to watch to see if I could gain any insight into my own issues. Although I certainly did not fit the description of the love junkie "serial dater" there were some nuggets of wisdom I gleamed. Why did I go on the breakup-make up roller-coaster with the guy I really treasured?  I had been continuously rejected by my previous "boyfriend" so I didn't believe the good times were real. If I felt slighted in any way I would bail because I was going to be in control of who had hurt feelings as Dr. Phil pointed out to his guest.

 So the whole thing was a test..will he understand me and love me all the time. This type of relationship management is very selfish because it only focuses on what I will get out of the relationship, it is not a mature and secure relationship. So today the past is just that and when and whoever I fall in love with will be well worth it.